Today as I sit wondering what it is I need to share with the world, I am pulled to begin writing what I hope will bring love and light to those who wish to find a peace within that I know many of us have struggled to find in this life here on Gaia.
I love to take photos of clouds, sunrises, and sunsets. For the time being the pictures in my mind remain within the realms until I find a medium that shows what it is I want to convey.
You see for as long as I can remember I have wanted to write the stories and to paint the pictures that flow through my mind, which up until now I allowed to drift off behind the veils of time. To wait yet again while I find the courage to allow them their place out in the open for all to see.
I have always felt drawn to the sky. As a child I would lay on the grass watching the clouds feeling the Earth move beneath me. At night the stars glistened like diamonds creating magic around me as they danced in the sky under a full Moon.
I have always had a spark within that glows and as I got older I realized I was different in some way I was always looking for my path but was not sure what it was you see I was very spiritual. I did what was expected always trying to make others proud of me but came to understand I was searching for something no one else could give me. As I began to Awaken from a very deep sleep It dawned on me that what I was looking for was here inside of me.
I don’t know about you but lately I have been thinking about where my life is heading. I am a 53 year old women who has been questioning her life and where it is headed since 2012. It was around this time that the inner stirrings began to break the surface and make themselves known in no uncertain terms.
My journey began hesitantly as I allowed myself to look more closely at what was crossing my path. Where I had come from as a 19 year old Bride embarking on a path my mother tried so hard to convey was far too soon.
I began to see cues which pulled me to a certain Book. A post published on line somewhere that would pop onto my screen which consequently had nothing to do with what I was doing at the time but it was enough to make me stop and take in what was written. Over time I began to discern what rested within my heart and not my mind. In other words I allowed my heart to guide me. The ego pushed back big time with stuff it would bring up from the past which was a way to hopefully stop me from what I was doing. The sad part of it for the ego was that by bringing it up to the surface the heart taught me how to acknowledge the hurts, the pains and ways to release. Over time every thing that had kept me a prisoner were just thoughts that had been programmed / conditioned by the environment i grew up in and the people that surrounded me.
As a child I was very intuitive and knew far more of what was happening in the places those around me could not see. I knew when a loved one had been hurt, when a loved one was going to pass.
It is this overwhelming feeling as something deep inside expands to push upward and flow out of my mouth in words without thought attached to it. In time I lost the signal because of depression, stress and the sense no one really understood who I was inside.
Meditation was where I found tools to quiet the mind and allow the conversations free rein once more. It was through a process of tools I found that helped me get to where I am at now. This journey into joy is my story which continues today with more tools that I am now putting into place. I hope that there may be something that helps you the reader find the tools that help you along the path that calls to you.
As I take each step I learn What is important and what is not and most importantly how to let go, to gain Freedom in all areas of my Life.
Looking back over my life and realizing there have been so many times I have repeated cycles which have bought me back to the starting line once again can be disconcerting which is why I am putting myself out into the world again. My Goal will be to help others as they too step off their own Cliff Edge to fly.
It is in bringing the following aspects of our lives into balance that we are able to move forward with ease comfortable in our own power as we take the path toward freedom in all areas.
1. The spiritual
2. The physical
When we begin to let go allowing ourselves to be guided by our internal selves we begin to see, hear, feel,sense the way we did as young children stepping out to explore our environments.
Imagine stepping into your Truth, with Patience, Humor and Integrity and Joy with a sprinkling of laughter.
Looking back over the past I have seen the cycles that have repeated more often than I would have wished because of fear, guilt and lack of trust in myself.
The last fifteen years has seen many aspects of my life come up to be cleared as I moved forward into a new Journey along a different path from the one that I embarked on as a young women new to the ways of this world.
Lessons taught are not lessons primarily learnt. As we all grow into Adulthood we realize that we learn more as we move through life, much of it without the History books written by others and it is not until we stop trying to do and be what others expect of us that we can breathe and become who we really are at a soul level.
Many of us wear masks that we wear for any given situation thus losing a part of who we really are. It’s time to remove the masks and be the beautiful human being that shines within each one of us. To do that we must trust in ourselves first then we will be able to trust those around us.
The first thing I had to learn was to trust and Love myself. Once I realized the power of these two words I saw my journey through Depression as a young Mother from a whole new perspective. Allowing the spiritual gifts of my child hood to rise again gave me the foundation I needed to follow my dreams and bring them into creation. It is my hope that all who visit will gain something that will be of benefit or provide an aha moment that enables the reader to stand back and observe their direction in a whole new way thus finding the key that will ultimately open the right door forward.